The Family That Plays Together
by SHADO Commander
Summary: When the Possibles go on a popular game show, who knows what might happen?  Contains Family Feud and Running Man references and the inevitable KiGo-ey stuff.  ONE SHOT for now


**Authors note: **_I was cleaning out and backing up files when I found this one about three quarters finished... written somewhere around ATCOTS 23, set aside and then literally forgotten during the Xmas rush. I've polished into a short but please, at the moment consider, this a one-shot. There may be more, eventually, but I've got way way too much else to do first. Legal stuff at bottom to avoid potential spoilers._

############################

THE FAMILY THAT PLAYS TOGETHER

By SHADO Commander

############################

Damon Killian checked his hair quickly in the small mirror attached to the back of the set. He needn't have bothered; it was perfect, as always. But when the quality of your lifestyle is directly dependent upon the quality of your appearance, it never paid to be too sure.

And appearance, after all, was all Killian really had. He'd had a middling career as a B-actor, never scoring a lead in anything he'd be willing to put his real name on, and then a few years as part of the ensemble of a popular TV show that seemed destined to last forever in reruns. That one role, however, had made his face familiar enough that his level of public recognition had been deemed sizable enough that that he'd managed to land this gig. It seemed like such a simple job, but Killian was keenly aware that he was the twelfth person to get this spot, and his predecessor hadn't quit. Killian had spent more than enough time as an unemployed actor. Whatever it took to keep this position, he'd do it. Even kill if he had to.

The lights in the studio dimmed and a distant drum roll began. Killian forced down the familiar flutter of nerves that always hit at this point, and waited for Shadey Stevens to start the announcement. Once SS started, he had exactly four beats to hit the edge of the stage, just as the spotlight kicked on.

"Live, from Upperton!" Shadey's melodious voice boomed on cue, Killian's legs automatically propelling him forward. "It's time to start the Familial Feud!"

"And here's your host, Damon Killian!" Shadey continued as Killian hit the spotlight perfectly, his flawless smile at it's most perfect and dazzling. The bright light of the master spots had been gelled to exactly the right shade to make the silver highlights in his carefully maintained hair sparkle, and the studio audience erupted in a huge round of applause that might even have been mostly genuine. Of course, given that there were three P.A.s standing carefully out of camera holding signs saying applause and an even bigger L.E.D. display flashing giant red letters saying the same directly over center stage, the answer to that question would never be known.

The multiple cameras and their operators did an intricate dance as they began to swivel to their next focus position. Earlier versions of the Feud had been prerecorded, but the current producers, well aware of how trends in reality television were favoring the outrageous and uncensored, had wisely opted to make the current production a live broadcast. It was more difficult and more expensive to do it this way, but the chance of an on camera disaster or some embarrassing personal slip was the kind of invitation modern audiences demanded.

"Thanks Shadey," Damon beamed, hitting his mark perfectly. "And who do we have tonight on this special Feud Celebrity Tournament?"

"Why it's the Possible family," Shadey exulted, as the first set of competitors stepped up to their designated row of podiums. "On the blue side of the stage, from the city of Middleton, please welcome James, Anne, Jim, Tim and Kim!"

This time the audience went crazy even before the applause signs could go into action. Small wonder. The rest of the Possible clan might not be as well known outside of their specialized fields, but Kim Possible was more than just an international hero; she'd literally saved the entire planet from total destruction at least nineteen times. If there was an award for bravery, she'd probably been awarded it and then turned it down with shockingly sincere modesty. And she'd been even more in the news recently when she'd had the even greater courage to…

"And on the Red side of the stage," Shadey interrupted Damon's thoughts just a tad ahead of schedule, "We have NO ONE!"

"_WHAT?"_ As the audience unanimously gasped in shock and confusion, Damon felt his stomach going into freefall, saved only by the fact that he knew the producers liked to occasionally pull stunts just like this in order to make the show feel even edgier. It was obvious that the Possibles were as thrown as he and the audience were, so THEY weren't in on it… however, Killian's suspicions of it all being a set up were quickly confirmed as a PA ran up from offstage and handed him an envelope. Quickly tearing it open, Damon read the contents rapidly and then spun immediately back into gracious host mode.

"It seems," he smiled at the audience and then the Possibles, "That the producers were unable to find ANY team willing to go up against a family consisting of a rocket scientist, a brain surgeon and three siblings with genius level I.Q.s." He waited for the collective "ah ha" of comprehension from the audience and continued. "However, as the invitation to appear on our show WAS extended, and because it was accepted, it has been the decision of the producers to award the Possibles' chosen charity… the L-5 society/X-prize 6 initiative for the establishment of the first private space station… will be awarded ALL of the prize money that could have been won during the game. Further, they WILL be asked to come back at the end of this week to face off with whichever other Celebrity Family scores highest during this weeks tournament… and so that they'll be ready for the competition, a special section has been reserved for Possibles in the front of our studio audience for the whole week!"

"_Brilliant" _Killian thought to himself as the disappointed Possibles were escorted from the blue podiums to the row of seats at the front of the stadium that had been filled with pages in street clothes. _"This way we get the advantage of the Possibles sitting there on camera for this show without the boredom of watching them sweep whoever went up against them without effort."_

"I told you we should have gone with Jeopardy," one of the twins… Tim if they'd stayed in the order they'd been standing in… was muttering under his breath as the rest of the family took their new seats. Meanwhile, the audience had settled down enough for Killian to reboot his script back to where they had been a few minutes ago.

"So Shadey, who do we have NOW?" He joked and the audience laughed appreciatively. Good, they'd accepted the change of plans, now he just had to speed the rest of this segment up a tiny bit more, get things back on track.

"Why, that would be the Family of Evil, Damon," Shadey returned. "From all over the world, meet Senior, Sr., Junior, Drew, Amy and Duff!"

Horrified gasps erupted across the studio as the new group entered, heading to the spots just vacated by the Possibles. Both of the Senior Seniors, Dr. Drakken, DNAmy and Duff Killigan! What had the producers been thinking, gathering five of the most notorious criminals in the world in a single place? Fortunately, Killian knew the answer, since it was also printed on the letter that had been in the envelope. My God, the ratings on this show were going to be out of this world!

"Have no fear, Ladies and Gentlemen," He smiled reassuringly, "Our new team is here under a flag of truce in order to play for the benefit of the Henchco Henchman's Orphan fund. And in any case, if the presence of the lovely Ms. Possible in the front row alone wasn't enough to discourage any misbehavior on the part of our blue team" Killian noticed that Kim was actually blushing at the attention. "If you will please notice, all our Production Assistants today, as well as the entire back row of the audience are actually elite shock troops provided by Global Justice."

With that, the pages stationed around the room all reached under their studio jackets and removed folding Taser rifles.

"And. as a final safety precaution," Damon continued, "We have two more special guests. Ladies and gentlemen, may I present Doctor Betty Director of Global Justice and Mister Ron Stoppable of Team Possible, who will be in charge of backstage security."

Looking a bit cowed by the announcement, a tall one eyed woman with a severe haircut and a shorter blonde teenager in his mid-teens nervously stepped out and waved briefly, before disappearing backstage again. Too bad the producers got that backwards, Killian thought. The woman had filled out her jumpsuit quite impressively, and would have been much better on-camera… but oh well.

"Now then," Damon once again forced the show's flow back on track. It was going to be almost impossible, really, but he knew the producers must have known that when they decided to spring all of this on everyone so suddenly. "Who do we have on the RED side, Shadey?"

"From Go City, we have the Go family!" Shadey replied. "Better known as Team Go, please welcome the mighty Hego, Mego and the Wegos!"

More applause as the famed superhero team entered. They'd be playing for the Go City Rebuild the Damaged Buildings fund, a charity for which they were both ardent supporters of and the general cause of the need for. Of course, as the four heroes hit their final positions, there was an immediate issue that the audience was sure to notice and if they hadn't, it was Killian's job to bring attention to it right about… now!

"Uh, wait Shadey. There seems to be an issue here," He interjected smoothly. "I only see four members of Team Go. As you know, a family has to have five players to play."

Hego's face went beet red inside his blue cowl. "Well… we… were told that…"

"Don't worry Hego," a thin, annoying voice interrupted. "We got her for you!

All eyes turned to the back of the stage and again there was a huge gasp! Yes, the producers were really batting a thousand today, Killian gloated, as Ron Stoppable and a team of Global Justice shock troops led a pale green woman with an incredibly pissed off expression onto the stage. She had approximately twenty guns focused on her from a distance of perhaps 12 feet, metal shackles restrained her legs and her glowing hands were encased in huge joined blocks of some kind of heat-resistant plastic. And despite all that, Shego, still looked to be one of, if not the most dangerous woman alive (it always being a question as to what to call Ms. Possible.)

"Hey sis! Glad you could make it!" cried the twin Team Go members, the Wegos.

"Shego!" Drakken screamed "What are you doing over there? Why are you playing for the heroes?"

"Does this look consensual to you doc?" Shego screamed, rattling her chains. "My fucking girlfriend slipped me a mickey finn this morning and I just woke up back stage!"

This last line was accompanied by an angry scowl. Directed at the front row of the audience.

Everyone stared.

Everyone gasped.

Killian saw an Emmy dancing in his head.

It had made major headlines earlier in the year when Kim Possible, the girl who could do anything, had 'come out' during an interview on 52 minutes. However, although she'd freely admitted to being gay and had been quite open in her support of various GBLT causes, she'd also kept every other aspect of her private life under a seal of secrecy that no news organization had been able to penetrate.

Until this very second, as there was no doubt as to exactly whom Shego was referring.

"It wasn't me!" Kim protested, then did a mental two count before turning with a face that moved Shego back to the number 2 most dangerous position and sent all of the villains diving beneath their podiums. THEY'D seen that face before and wanted NO part of it.

"RON!"

"Boy… this is awkward…" stammered Ron Stoppable, quickly joining the villains under their desks.

"And we'll be right back after this commercial break!" Killian announced.

################################

_**Ye Old Legal stuff:**__ Kim Possible, Shego, Doctor Betty Director, Ron Stoppable, Senor Senior Jr., Senor Senior, Sr., DNAmy, Duff Killigan, Dr. Drakken, Hego, Mego, The Wegos, Jim and Tim Possible (the Tweebs,)The Dr.s Possible, Anne and James and all other characters borrowed from the wonderful KP Universe are the creations of Mark McCorkle and Bob Schooley, and those names are all trademarks of the Disney media organizations. Damian Killian from the motion picture THE RUNNING MAN, based on an original story by Stephen King and perhaps a bit of the personal like of actor Richard Dawson. Shadey Stevens is no relation to Shadoe Stevens or SHADO Commander. Really. And Familial Feud... okay, probably hard to deny that it's not based on a certain Mark Goodson/BillTodman production,. Finally, this story takes place at a time at which all characters shownto be, or implied to be, in a consensual physical relationship should be considered to be over the legal age of 18… And it's all parody anyway._


End file.
